I (Still) BELIEVE

I (still) Believe

“I believe” was the title of my blog for January, 2020. I went on to write about all the incredible lessons that I learned over the last decade, the lessons that I chose to pack and take with me as we transitioned into a new decade, that showed me that instead of a decade of PTSD, I had chosen a decade of PTG (post traumatic growth). Here are a few things I packed to bring into 2020:

·      I am resilient, I may fall down many times to my knees but I get to choose if I stay there and for how long

·      What other people think of me is none of my business, I trust myself

·       I am an unstoppable force, in fact pretty unf*ckwithable

·       I am a Changemaker and I have a gift to heal, to teach and to coach

·       I am worthy, that one deserves a repeat, I am WORTHY

·      I crave simplicity and quiet moments and am nourished in nature

·      I get to choose which “brules” (bullshit rules) I wish to hold onto and which I chose to leave behind

·      I choose to nurture my relationships, no one ever died saying “I wished I had worked more”

·      I am abundant

·      I am a miracle

·      I have the DNA for greatness, and it is up to me to create the right mindset and environment to access my genius

·      I am perfectly imperfect and I do not fear my weaknesses

·      I am not broken and I do not need to be fixed

·      I find ways to awaken to my purpose and potential every time I forget

·      I chose to show up with an open heart and mind even when met with another’s closed heart and mind

·      I value self-care

·      I have a unique story to share with the world

·      I chose not to cover up my pain just because it hurts or makes others uncomfortable, that’s authenticity

·      “fine” is a 4 letter word that means I’m not OK (google it: song by Steve Tyler)

·      Believing is seeing

·      Storytellers change the world

·      I recognize that all healing has it’s time and I can show up without needing to fix or change anything, rather, simply express what is alive in me

·      My desires, aligned and channelled through my open heart, are essential in the world

·      I get to assign meaning to all my experiences

·      My experiences do not define me, they refine me and can catapult me to my deepest purpose

·      I am the writer, director and lead actress in my life

·      I don’t need to wait for greater moments to be grateful

·      I can dream ANYTHING because everything in the world began with a dream

·      I BELIEVE that the Universe has my back and Life is happening FOR me

These ah-ha’s were accompanied with drudgery, mud, resistance, loss, grief, fear and a large dose of pain.  And with them came growth, insight, surrendered grace, love, compassion and gratitude. I have learned to turn my pain into purpose and thank it for its many gifts especially the ability to create a life where I GET to serve others.

In January, I ended my blog with this wish: “I wish you a year and decade that is full of love, gentle moments, deep learning, warm connections and intense belief. May we continue to BELIEVE that our journey is to walk each other gently home and remember the beauty of our hearts.”  Then, in February I was at a Mindvalley event and had a bracelet imprinted with the word “believe” AND a friend gave me a “believe” sign.  Clearly my message for 2020 is to believe and I never imagined that that mantra would be so incredibly tested as it has been.   In truth, I was craving some pause in my life, some changes, an opportunity to move into my body and touch what longed to be expressed…. and I feel a humbled responsibility to this situation that we are all collectively going through…and I know I am not alone. And, in a way that was unexpected, I am receiving what I longed for.  I am reminded that clarity is essential and to not attach to the HOW your longings show up.  And now, I get to remember, it is what it is so what are you going to do about it….Yogi?

As we are moving into a second wave in Canada of Covid and I know that it is impacting many of you in ways that are beyond imagination for many of you, and me too Here are some practices that I want to acknowledge as practices for myself this month and invite you to consider:

• We are unable to gather with our loved ones for Thanksgiving, but can we continue to give thanks for all the people that we have in our lives. What are you grateful for today?

• We may all be in our individual boats, but we are all enduring the same storm. Be patient with others and show them compassion, we are unable to be in their boat, but we get to keep our hearts open no matter how many times they bump up against us. This requires a somatic practice of tuning in and recognizing that your heart is open or closed. It is a choice. What do you choose?

• We may not have the same work opportunities, but we all get to create meaning in our lives every day. What meaning do you want to create today?

• We may have a roller coaster of emotional responses and the work is to go through them, not around them and know that no matter what you are going through, you are innate goodness. Find an online or socially distanced group where you are free to touch and express what your are holding inside so you can let it go.  Recognize when you are FINE (research as noted above) and be willing to feel all the big feels because pushing them down for a rainy day will eventually sink your boat.  Can you take daily time to feel into your body and feel what is longing to be acknowledged?

• We may not have any certainty in the future, but we can trust and remain grounded in our breath and remember to exhale often and do the best we can with the breaths that are gifted to us every day. Can you take 5 breaths every hour and make the exhalation stronger.

• When you forget that you have the capacity to manage whatever you are managing in your life during this season, re-read the belief statements from January 2020 and follow each statement with “JUST LIKE ME”.  Then, take a big exhale, and remember that this, too, shall pass.  

My wish for you in January, 2020 remains true today even though the circumstances of all of our lives may be different:  “I wish you a year and decade that is full of love, gentle moments, deep learning, warm connections and intense belief. May we continue to BELIEVE that our journey is to walk each other gently home and remember the beauty of our hearts.”  

We may not be able to hug each other, see each other, be with each other but know that I love you all so deeply and am surrounding you with a large hug and I am incredibly grateful for your presence in my life.

With Love and buckets of gratitude

Diana